One of the saddest things I hear from parents contacting us at Eklektos is "I couldn't talk to anyone at church about my gay son because I was frightened how they would react!"
I too had reservations about sharing the news that my son had "come out" with church folk. It took me several weeks to come to terms with how I felt before I could share it with church folk, but even then, I was very guarded on who I told.
First, it was our closest church friends as I felt they may be more sympathetic knowing me better than most in the church, and as expected, the empathy and support from them was very comforting.
As my boldness grew, I approached less close church friends ... those that knew me quite well, but not as closely as the previous folk. This time there was a mixed reaction, but still overwhelmingly supportive.
As my son was quite well known in the church, the word began to spread and more people were asking to be remembered to him, as he had left the church after coming out to us but prior to it becoming public knowledge!
There were a group of folk who just didn't know how to respond to me. They would say something similar to "I've heard the news!" and then just look at you with pitying eyes, or the response "We are praying for you all at this time", and I supposed that masked an inability to know how to respond to me.
I would like to think that the one place where hurting people can find love and support is with their church fellowship, but I feel the problem is that until we as "church" get this subject out in the open and break down the stigma, there will always be a group of people that treat gays and their relatives like "lepers".
One of the aims of the Eklektos network is to help the church start the discussion, so everyone can hear the facts, look at God's word and discern what Jesus would do, and then perhaps we can all find a fellowship where there is love and support for everyone.
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